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Friday, February 15, 2008

English is my Second Language

I consider myself level headed, thoughtful, somewhat intelligent…in fact, I consider myself totally awesome, in general. Yep, and let’s not forget modest too! However, on occasion, particularly during the ragweed season, when I’m fighting that "foggy fog" feeling, even a clever cookie like yours truly can somehow manage to not get the point of a conversation, a riddle, an anecdote or a popular cliché.

While tidying up my desktop this morning, I stumbled upon a document I had previously posted on one of those online “anything goes” message boards, titled, "About Forrest Gump."

“Anyone who'd seen ‘Forrest Gump’ is more than likely familiar with this line:
'My momma always said, Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.' (or something like that).

Well, here I am several years later, thinking, what genius wrote that line? I don't know about you, but if I'm at the store and happen to pull out some dinero from my wallet to pay for a box of chocolatte, there better be nothing other than chocolate in that box when I get home! I expect no more or less. Woman wants chocolate. Woman pays for a box of chocolate. Woman should know that she is definitely getting some chocolate in that box of chocolate that she’d just paid for. Full stop!

A handful of the board members quickly responded with one variation of "you missed the point, or another. While others teased that I had a lot to learn about chocolates or American clichés. "

The following morning, Daddoo of course, says to me, “I read that thing you wrote about Forrest Gump…blah, blah, blah…lecture…blah…I think you missed the point…blah blah." And all I had to say in my defense, was, "Hey, English is my second language."

That my fellow legal aliens, is a seriously legal excuse you could always take to the bank-;)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey there Mamamsita - tell Daddoo I said wussap?!?

Here's my 2 cents for what it's worth (probably somewhere around 2 cents).

I think you have an excellent grasp on the English language - a better grasp than I have in many respects. I think it's just a lack of exposure to the scourge that is the ‘mystery’ box of chocolates. I've always hated these things and they were a lot more proliferate 10 to 20 years ago. I guess that's why I didn't flinch at the Forrest Gump line. I'm a purist when it comes to chocolate and I can't stand being the 3rd one into a box and the damn chocolates are all mixed up making the colorful index on the box top obsolete. You end up getting some chocolate covered coconut surprise making you wish you had just bought a Nestle crunch.

On the sweets front - my personal favorite is Oreo-flavored anything. They just came out with these ‘Cakesters’ that rock!

Much love,

Mateo

Tamsyn said...

Hi! I have just started reading your blog and if you hadn't said so I would never have guessed that English wasn't your first language.

English is also the second language for my mother-in-law-to-be and she often comes out with some pearlers (even though she has been living in Australia for 40 odd years)... it always gives us something to giggle about :)

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