Thursday, October 18, 2007

A Tribute to Irresponsible Dog Owners

Did you know that pet waste left on sidewalks, yards, streets and other places can be transported by rainwater via storm drains into streams, lakes, rivers and other waterways?

Did you know that doggie doodie may contain harmful bacteria such as E.Coli and Salmonella, which can cause disease in humans?

Man’s best friend may live in every household in America except mine. There is a good reason. While three out of five of my family members will wheeze, itch and scratch, or break out in hives whenever we’re in close proximity to these furry creatures, there is a more compelling reason that Dogs are not welcomed inside my home or anywhere near my lawn. You may call me crazy. You may call me mean. In fact, I’ll even let you get away with sticking a "Psychotic” label on my forehead! But one thing is for certain. You will find me standing guard by my window or front door-each time I see you or your four legged amigo sniffing its way down my cul-de-sac. Lawn by lawn. My visibility is not intended to be a subtle hint. My visibility should serve as a firm warning that my front yard is a "NO, NO, CRAP ZONE."

Legend has it that some crazy woman once tracked down a pet owner to return a very special present . Trust me, I can give that legend a run for its money. Don’t even think about pulling a “crap and run” hit anywhere inside my property line unless you’re prepared to receive a huge payback package by your front door. And I am not just talking about Dog S.h.i.t!

Yes, there are a few pet owners who don't mind doing the right thing by cleaning up after their dogs. It only takes a poopie scooper and a bag. Still, many continue to allow their precious pets to leave mine fields on someone else’s yard and casually moosie on their merry way. Shame on you! There is an explanation why some of us don’t have a dog. We don’t want a dog! We don’t care for a dog!! And we most certainly don’t want the responsibility of picking up after yours while mowing our lawn!!! I am tired of trying to duck from one pile of dump after another during my leisurely evening stroll in my community and sometimes at public parks.

Guess what? The holidays season is right around the corner and I’d like to kick things off with a very special wish for every negligent pet owner out there…

Each morning, while you’re out and about walking your dog, may you accidentally slip and fall face down into a pile you’d left the day before. May your dog -intentionally- step into the foulest smelling doggie doodie out there and track it all the way back into your home- sweet- home. All over your fabulous carpet! And as far as dog crap goes, may you always reap what you sow. Happy Holidays in advance!


10 said...

You could get a cat. They poop in boxes. :-)

Bennie said...

I've been around cats. They make me feel even worse. I had to babysit a cat once for a family friend of ours that went out west for the holidays. Each time, I'd leave with swollen sinuses and itching eyes. I quickly learned however; I snagged a mask from our dentist. YOu know one of those that covers your nose and mouth?
Good to see ya partner. Hope you're feeling mucho better.


Anonymous said...

You'll be happy to know Murphy only goes in my yard! On the very RARE occasion he has an accident outside, I am quick with teh Kroger's bag! I agree, I am grossed out when we are walking and it smells like a doggie toilet along the common areas because of all the "presents". Ugggh!


ISL said...

I've been chased by a crap load of dogs while out riding or running..........I hate bad dog owners with a passion and have had words with them a few times.

Anonymous said...

intresting angle may i try that

springkitty said...

While I am a devoted dog lover I can't begin to tell you how disgusting it is to me to see people walking their dogs leaving piles of filth everywhere and when the dog has finished they walk on as if it is they and their animal has every right to this disgraceful behavior! I too have wished many times the dog would suddenly jerk backwards on it's leash and the owner would fall face first into the newly left pile! My own dogs go in my own back yard where it is cleaned immediately. Thanks for offering this opportunity to vent my rage. Kitty

Anonymous said...


Thanks for visiting. Left you a note on VOX. Hope to see you again, and again. Merry Christmas!

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