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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Murder for Hire

Yesterday was a pretty darn good day in my household. The kids didn't strangle each other! I didn't have to scream at anyone to pick up. I didn't even have to confiscate Scrawny's Nitendo DS or threaten her with solitary confinement in the basement for being mean to her little sister. Kid Sid's room was a fire hazard. In fact, it looked more like a refugee camp in a third world country, but I didn't care! Furr-ball tried to re-decorated her bedroom wall with my favorite lipstick...lucky kid, she's still breathing. I was in a bloody jolly good mood! I rushed downstairs to check on our favorite red wine-a 2002 bottle of "Toasted Head" Merlot-it was aging and chilling perfectly in the freezer (just like the force of the universe intended for it to be.)

I asked Daddoo to order a romantic pay per view movie while I sashayed into a lavender scented bubble bath. I then finished off with some Johnson and Johnson baby lotion...(hey, smelling like el babe can work wonders. Trust me, I have three kids to prove it!) Afterward, I climbed into bed; snuggled next to him...thinking, hmmm, maybe another baby, perhaps a baby brother for my girls would not be such a bad idea. But all he had to say... after all my effort was, "Babe, you smell like a diaper!"

Anyone care to take him out for me? Be sure you aim for that puny brain between his toes!

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3 comments:

jagsmom4 said...

"You smell like a diaper"!! Just kill him...no court with any women on the jury would ever convict you.....

Anonymous said...

I'll shoot yours if you'll shoot mine -;

Rosie said...

Ay, ya ya...did he know he just killed his chance at nookie?

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