The Fine Art of Crying on Demand

Does anyone remember Amber? You know, that chica from ‘Big Brother 8’ who seemed to boo hoo all the time about everything? Well, when it comes to the fine art of crying on demand, I know of a very special someone who could give Amber, together with her “tears manufacturing factory” a run for her money, anytime!

Seriously. Whenever this kid is hungry, or asks for a bite to eat and you don’t respond pronto, to her request, she cries. If it’s way past her bedtime and you (heavens forbid)happen to be anywhere in the vicinity of her bedroom, jibber jabbering… she cries. Under no circumstance are you to accidentally bump into her; whack her on the head, or step on her feet even during play time. Under no circumstance are you to make fun of her, snap at her, or tell her to “shut up,” rather than “hush“ or “be quiet.” She will bawl. Guaranteed! Don’t you dare raise your voice by any decibel higher than what she’s accustomed to(even if she’s being disruptive or excessively boisterous.) You might as well save your apologies or all subsequent consoling pep talks until her crying spell has come to a complete stop. Okay, I think you get the point by now…

This morning, at about 4:30 am, I heard Furr-ball whimpering all the way from my bedroom. As soon as it dawned on me that she was probably having a bad dream, I climbed into her bed and tried to soothe her with a firm hug(which of course woke her up).
“Are you all right mama?” I whispered.
“Noooooo.” She replied as she continued to sob.
“Does your tummy hurt?”
“No mommy, I had a horrible nightmare.”
“I’m so sorry baby. What was it about?”
“Mikala won’t let me go on www dot webkinz dot com.”

What? Yeah, my sentiments exactly. I told you she cries about everything. ..even in her dreams-:)

P.S. As I’m recounting this story to other members of the family(over breakfast), I can see the tears quickly flooding her eyes, ready to stream steadily down her face. And I believe we all know why-;)

A Kleenex Moment

I have an announcement to make. I want you, my dedicated guest to know that Today is a very sad day in my household. I have just been given the boot from one chore that never fails to brighten my day in spite of all those daunting challenges that most stay at home moms(like yours truly), get to grapple with. People, my kindergartner literally said to me, mom, you are fired! I am talking…tossed like a smelly, worn out, pair of gym shoes.

After indulging in our mid afternoon, after school snack with Furr-ball, and her older sister, Scrawny, she announces (like clockwork of course),
“Mom, I am going to make some Frankfurt Burger.”

TRANSLATION: I am going to the bathroom to poop, please stick around in the immediate vicinity until I’m done so that you can wipe my butt.

Minutes later, out of the corner of my eye, I see her sprinting toward me.
“Hey, get back in there!” I order. “I haven‘t wiped you yet.”
“But mom, I know how to wipe myself now.”
“Really?”
“Yep.” She proudly replies. “I am a big girl now.”

So here I sit, broken hearted and teary-eyed. Boo hoo, hoo- that very special apron string has been severed- boo hoo, hoo. Hey Tito, pass me a tissue! Wait! Make that a box of Kleenex. Grazie -;)

Land of The Free Ride

Once, Daddoo and I were in the market for some investment properties. We found a government subsidized condo that seemed like it would yield a decent cash flow. The current landlord scheduled a showing for us. The minute we stepped into that unit, nothing could have prepared me for what I saw...

An elegantly furnished living room with top of the line stereo system! A big @ss TV that was about the size of the vanity mirror in my bathroom! I couldn’t believe it. How could anyone whose rent bill was being footed by the government afford such techno luxury? To me, this was clearly an abuse of social services. To this day, it still irks me to know that there are able bodied people out there who continue to take advantage of a system that’s supposed to provide temporary assistance to those who are in actual dire need of help. The choice to sit on one's rear end and live on government hand-outs rather than becoming a contributing member of society is no way to live a life of dignity. So, get off that train! Let's stop turning this great Land of the Free, into Land of the Free Ride!