Superbad, is Totally Super Bad!

So, here I sit. No, I am not broken hearted, and I am definitely not sitting on my toilet seat waiting to let out a few logs. Trust me. Hayden had somehow managed to talk me into coming over to watch another potentially stupid @ss movie with him and some of his 9-5 buddies. Why? Well, for starters, his opinionated, “waiting to come out of the closet” buddy, (Rudy) said, “Dude, “superbad, is muy excellente. This is the same old pinhead who previously finagled hayden into taking me to see Napoleon Dynamite on our first date! However, I am curious. Curious enough to find out, "If the entire flick is about two 18-year-olds, running around yelling as many vulgar slangs for genitalia as possible,"according to a totally reliable movie buff.

The Verdict? ...

Superbad, is waaaaaaay super bad! No joke. Within the first half hour, you will be bombarded with excessive sexually crude rants...enough to make Howard Stern Cringe. Sure this movie was able to squeeze a chuckle or three out of me. However, in spite of its sporadic sprinkles of clever humor(including flashbacks of young Seth as a penile graphic artist), I'd have to equate my superbad experience to pissing and flushing over 60 minutes of my life down the toilet. I'm talking 60 minutes that I could never get back! So, mi amigo, consider ye warned. Save yourself a trip to blockbuster; keep that dinero in your wallet!

Need detailed reviews? Check out,
http://past-the-popcorn.gospelcom.net/index.php/2007/superbad

http://screenrant.com/archives/review-superbad-971.html

NOTE: Metal Chica is a fictional character with a natural gift of the gab. Through her often exaggerated tales of inconsequential gibberish which are (unfortunately) based on real experiences, we'd get to understand what makes this 23-year-old single female tick or ticked off!

No “ Ho, ho, ho” for Santa!

What? Did anyone else see that mini image link on yahoo homepage sometime today?

Crap! Thanks a lot Don Imus… was my initial reaction. But once I ultimately figured things out, (all by myself thank you), by actually reading the full story, my pulse rate promptly settled back down to its totally awesome range. Hey, what can I say, us Americanos, just happen to love the resonance of "ho, ho, ho," and prefer it, to its wimpy alternative. In all seriousness, "ha, ha, ha," does not even have the same connotation or reverberation like "ho, ho, ho." For the freaking love of Mother Teresa, "ha, ha, ha" is something you would say to:

-Numere Uno- that gullible kid who constantly falls for his father's "pull my finger," routine.
-Numere Dos-that truly fortunate dude who always finds himself amid the stink trench of some lactose intolerant soul.

If the Aussies don’t want their "Father Christmas" to use "ho, ho, ho," because it could potentially frighten children (what a load of horse crap)and is too close to "ho", a US slang term for prostitute (puleeze) what do I care?

However, there is one train of thought that haunts me…

1. If Christmas is really about the birth of Christ or rather a celebration of his birth and
2. Ha, ha, ha, is an onomatopoeia for laughing or laughter (methinks)...

Shouldn’t the Aussies be concerned that:

Some religious extremist group would soon begin to launch protest grenades because, “ha, ha, ha, merry Christmas,” sounds a bit like mockery...you know, as in, Thou shall not take the name of the Lord in vain? My opinion, someone in Sidney, Australia, needs a job, a real job or a life…or both...um, like, right now!

NOTE: Metal Chica is a fictional character with a natural gift of the gab. Through her often exaggerated tales of inconsequential gibberish which are (unfortunately) based on real experiences, we'd get to understand what makes this 23-year-old single female tick or ticked off!

Pick me a Winner

We were waiting for the light to turn green, when out of the blues, this elderly lady pulls up right next to us. At first I thought, no freaking way! Maybe it's just an itch somewhere in the vicinity of her snout. Never in my entire life had I been presented with such a totally awesome opportunity to witness a "mind boggling" display of reckless tactlessness from the female specie. In public! In broad daylight!

I tried to look the other, but I couldn't. Instead, I just sat there gawking; totally grossed out and mesmerized at the same time. Meanwhile, she continued to dig... meticulously. I'm talking deep, deep, deeeeeeeeep into her muzzle.

Hayden tried to get her attention. He honked our horn. He rolled down his window; stuck out his head and yelled, "Pick me a winner!" But Grandma would not be distracted. I mean, this Lady...or should I say NO Lady, was getting down and I'll bet in her mind, everyone else can pucker up and plant a wet one on her geriatric backside.

"Do you think she heard me? Hayden asked.
"I don't know. Maybe we're being ignored."

As the very loooooooooong red light turned green...finally to my relief, Granny honked twice; gave us the middle finger and sped off. Guys, I kid you not...that old Lady totally shot us the bird and all I could think of was, where is that freaking camcorder when you need one?

NOTE: Metal Chica is a fictional character with a natural gift of the gab. Through her often exaggerated tales of inconsequential gibberish which are (unfortunately) based on real experiences, we'd get to understand what makes this 23-year-old single female tick or ticked off!

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